


In This Moment

by MagicBats



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Drama, Blow Jobs, Cheating, F/M, Public Blow Jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:13:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22965217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicBats/pseuds/MagicBats
Summary: In which you keep pushing until Asuma finally gives you the answers you seek.
Relationships: Sarutobi Asuma/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	In This Moment

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not usually one for angst but that's how this one turned out so. : / 
> 
> For the prompt "come over here and make me". Depending on how you look at it the blowjob might be considered dubious consent, both because alcohol is involved and also because of the nature of the scene itself, so proceed with caution if that might upset you.

Asuma’s fingers digging into the skin around your wrist were like an anchor tethering you to this plane of existence. Tight and pinching. As good as iron. You could never hope to escape the sure-grip he had on you no matter how you might choose to struggle and try to wrench yourself free so you didn’t even make the attempt. It would only be yet another exercise in futility and, truth be told, you were just tipsy enough not to really even _want_ to escape. You may have had to resort to petty, childish tactics back inside the pub, but at least he was paying attention to you now. 

At least he wasn’t still fawning all over _her_.

“You’re brave, I’ll give you that.” The low rumble of his voice - thicker than usual with the hint of anger creeping into his tone - drifted through the chilly evening to settle deep in the pit of your gut. He hadn’t spared you so much as a backward glance since accosting you from the bar before you could let loose another scathing comment in front of Kurenai but he didn’t really need to. It was so obvious he was pissed and you couldn’t help but feel pleased as punch about that. It served him right.

Letting out a breathy, rasping laugh, you tilted your head back to look up at the glittering night sky and watch your breath fog in the air. It was still too early in the spring to go without a coat but he hadn’t given you the chance to grab yours. You’d have to remember to make him buy you a new one if it went missing between now and the morning.

“Please. I’m not scared of you.”

He scoffed; a humorless, biting sound. “I _did_ pick up on that.”

You frowned when he didn’t say anything more on the matter.

Allowing your chin drop down again, you narrowed your eyes at the broad line of Asuma’s shoulders. You were almost a block away from the pub now and the longer he drug you through the shopping district like a petulant child, the more irritable you were becoming. Incensed and enraged like you had every right to be. The only problem was that without the woman he’d spurned you for being readily available, the only possible target you were left with was _him_.

It hadn’t been your intention to wind up alone with your ex, at least in part for this exact reason. Having a head-on confrontation with him when you were still licking your wounds wasn’t very high on the priorities list but you just couldn’t seem to put a stopper on your emotions when you’d found her curled up under his arm like she belonged there. Knowing what sort of man he was, knowing exactly what he thought about catty behavior, you probably should’ve expected this turn of events before you’d even started running your mouth. Still, that didn’t mean you had to be happy about it.

“Will you let go of me already?” You snapped, jerking back on his hold for the first time since he’d grabbed you and you weren’t even the least bit surprised when that got you absolutely nowhere. He only tugged you along after him more insistently, the muscles in his hand jumping, and you issued a terse sigh through your nose. “Look, I know this tough guy act gets you going but I can’t say I’m impressed. Where are you even taking me? If you’re going to talk then start talking. If not, just let me go home. This is basically kidnapping, you know.”

Asuma’s shoulders shifted with the unhappy sound of disdain he noised into the brief moment of quiet that passed between you two. “Sometimes,” He drawled. “I actually manage to forget just how lippy you can be with a little bit of sake in you but then you go and pull a stunt like this. I hope you’re real proud of yourself come tomorrow.”

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

His grip on your wrist tightened almost imperceptibly. “It means you should probably shut up.”

“Hah!” You barked, shrill and bitter. Your temper flaring at the note of warning in his voice instead of much more wisely taking that as your cue to stand down. “Or what? Why don’t you come over here and make me? I’d like to see you -”

Your empty threats abruptly cut off with a half-choked squawk of surprise when Asuma jerked you away from the main road and into a cramped alley. He didn’t so much as miss a beat as you stumbled after him, hissing at the pain that was spider webbing up your arm. You lifted your other hand to viciously dig your nails into the skin around his knuckles but he didn’t even seem to notice. You’d known you were toeing a very fine line with him - of course you had - but you still hadn’t expected _this_.

“What do you think you’re -”

For the second time in as many seconds, he managed to catch you off guard.

Spinning around too fast for you to react, Asuma bodily shoved you up against the side of the building so forcibly that it punched the air right out of your lungs. You gasped; a faltering, winded sound of pain and you started to slump into a disoriented heap but he pinned you with his muscle heavy frame. The wrist he was still clutching in a death grip was promptly slammed to the wall as well, just inches from the side of your head.

You seethed, anger rushing in to replace the dull ache of your bruised ego, and you drew a sharp breath to scream at him with. He didn’t give you the chance to utter so much as a single syllable though and his other hand flew up to your face, squeezing the worn pads of his fingers into your cheeks so tightly that it made your lips purse.

“Be. Quiet.” Asuma growled into the scant space separating you from him.

Narrowing your eyes, you tried to wrench your head out of his grip but it was no use. He had you trapped between himself and the building with nowhere to go. No leverage you could use to fight him with. You were helpless before his strength and it was only then that you realized - in a far off, dreamy sort of way - the sheer extent of your own foolishness.

Why _exactly_ had you thought it was a good idea to take jabs at him in front of Kurenai?

Seeing the dawning realization of regret flashing across your face, Asuma smirked. It was roughishly handsome and unfairly attractive in that moment, and you winced when he eased up his pinching hold on your cheeks just enough for you to draw your mouth into a thin line. That he didn’t seem particularly bothered by the heated glare you were sending his way did not go unnoticed.

“That’s better.” He intoned gruffly, looking quite pleased by your sudden acquiescence. “I know that liquid courage does you a world of good, but you’ve really gotta’ learn how to read your audience. What made you think I was going to put up with this shit from you of all people? Hmm?”

You cut your gaze to the side when your face immediately started to warm under his keen scrutinization, refusing to look at him now. “Do you really expect an answer?”

“You know I’m not in the habit of talking just to hear the sound of my own voice.”

Expression twisting up in shame and fury alike, you fruitlessly bucked against him. Trying to shake him off. “Screw you!” You all but spat as you twisted like a furious viper. “I don’t owe you anything after the way you dumped me for that stupid, stuck up who -”

“And just like _that_ ,” Asuma cut across you so vehemently you actually jumped. “You’ve made me regret giving you the chance to speak. You really never learn, do you? And to think I was even trying to be nice after that spectacle you made of yourself at the bar.” He gave his head a slow shake, looking genuinely disappointed. It made tears pool along your lashline but you valiantly blinked them away, determined to maintain what little dignity you still possessed.

“Squat down.”

Your efforts proved to be in vain though and an instantaneous shudder tore its way up your spine before you could even think to try and stop it.

“Wha -”

Asuma squeezed your cheeks together again, effectively silencing your confusion. “I’m not going to ask you a third time. Squat.”

He took a shuffling, half step back to give you some space in which to comply. You swayed unsteadily without him there to keep you propped up but he made no move to reach out and ground you. Your wrist was still shackled to the wall in his unrelenting grip and, realizing that you had no other option, you slowly lowered yourself down onto the balls of your feet.

To his credit, Asuma had the grace to bring his hand down with you so that you weren’t awkwardly stretching and it left you feeling a bit like a precariously balanced dancer. He was perfectly poised to twirl you around or perhaps use his steady grip to haul you up into his arms. There seemed a laundry list of possible ways that this could go but, much to your surprise, he actually reached for the front of his pants instead. Blatant shock bloomed inside your chest and settled within you as white-hot, roiling magma rather than the icy chill you probably should’ve felt when you realized what he was doing.

You suddenly couldn’t seem to keep the sly grin off your face.

“Asuma ...”

“Don’t misunderstand my intentions here,” He snorted mirthlessly, pulling his breechcloth loose once he had the waistband of his slacks sagging around his hips. Reaching back to safely tuck it into a pocket, he brought his free hand up to pat the front of his flak jacket and unhurriedly search for his cigarettes. “There’s just no talking to you when you’re like this but I’ve got something to say and you’re going to listen. Without interruption. This is as much a punishment as a means to an end.”

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Asuma slipped a fresh, crisp roll of paper between his lips and you rolled your eyes. This was so very typical of him. Always playing the hardboiled angle even at the detriment of his own argument. You wondered, very briefly, what he was teaching that inexperienced group of genin he was in charge of and a shortlived tinge of pity flashed through you. 

“Besides,” He continued. With a flick of the wrist, the lighter in his hand sparked to life and lit his grim expression up in stark relief. “Didn’t you just invite me to _make_ you shut up only a moment ago?” 

You scowled at him, vehement and simmering with your fast unraveling patience. “God, you’re such a cocky tryhard! When are you going to grow up?”

Dark, unkempt brows knitted together and he frowned. “That’s a funny thing to say. Last I checked, that was exactly why you kept coming back for more.”

Sputtering indignantly, you reared back against the wall in an attempt at drawing yourself up. Trying to look bigger than you really felt when you were crouched inside a dark alley while people unsuspectingly milled past your poorly concealed hiding spot, only yards away. You momentarily toyed with the notion of screaming just to be petty and draw attention you knew he didn’t want but you quickly dashed the thought. Your stinging pride wouldn’t allow it and you might as well admit your defeat to Kurenai the next time you saw her if you couldn’t even meet his obvious provocation head-on like this.

He was finally rising to the bait, accepting your bitterly issued challenge, and you weren’t about to back out now. Not when you were, at last, getting what you’d so desperately wanted. If he was looking for a game of chicken tonight, then that’s exactly what he was going to get.

“So, is that it?” You snarked, uselessly flexing your trapped wrist. “Are you just going to fuck me in public and then run back to her when you’re done? I never took you for that type.” 

Asuma sighed and curling tendrils of wispy, silver-white smoke puffed out of his mouth before drifting up to disappear in the night sky. “I’m not going to fuck you, kitten.” He bit out, making you wince at the sore inflection of his petname for you. Your reaction did not escape his notice and he smirked, slipping the filter between his lips again before reaching to tug at his slacks. “You’d like that too much and I _did_ say this was a punishment, you know.”

Feeling mildly abashed, your gaze darted down to watch what he was doing just inches from your face and you tensed with the first note of trepidation that thrummed through you. The situation was anything but ideal and yet, despite how badly you wanted to cling to your heartbreak and anger, you found your mouth watering when Asuma shoved his briefs aside and his half-hard cock popped up into the air between you two. You were horrified to realize that you still wanted him just as much as you had before he’d broken things off, if not more.

You always covet what you can’t have more than anything else, right?

His dick twitched with growing interest and your lips instinctively parted as you rocked forward on your toes just a fraction of an inch. The muscles in your legs were starting to ache from the uncomfortable squat you were stuck in but you barely even noticed it. Much too focused on the spark reigniting in your gut to pay it any mind.

Asuma snorted a mirthful laugh, fingers wrapping around the base and giving it a few slow tugs. Teasing you with the enticing way his large hand worked himself over and encouraged more blood to the quickly filling out length he was palming. He shuffled his feet further apart just a short moment later and expectantly guided the tip to your open mouth. Your pussy clenched, turned on by his confidence rather than put off by it, and you eagerly accepted the offering; letting the weight of him settle on your tongue while you sealed your lips around the shaft. Moaning softly in the back of your throat, you suckled on the spongey appendage and it started to rapidly swell in response. 

“Mmm,” He hummed his approval, still subduedly pumping at the base. “At least your mouth is good for something.” 

You made a sound of protest and swiveled your gaze up to pin him with a look of warning. It didn’t seem to bother him one bit though and, taking a relaxed drag off the burning cigarette hanging from his damnably kissable mouth, Asuma angled his pelvis forward to slide in deeper. The salty, bitter flavor of him overwhelmed your senses and you drew a quick breath through your nose.

Feeling ten times more heady and intoxicated than you had just a moment ago, you pushed down until the glans was tickling your tonsils and you could feel the thick vein running along the length of his shaft on your tongue. You felt indescribably powerful in that moment and, cunt fluttering with high strung arousal, you spread your legs wide in silent welcome. The sensation of cool air lapping at your sticky hot panties had you shuddering, arching against the wall when your nipples began to pucker against the inside of your bra. In all your life you’d never been so turned on just from giving someone a blowjob. It was as if you were burning from the inside out for him.

“Now,” Asuma intoned, drawing your attention in a gruff voice. “Let me make one thing clear. I did not dump you for Kurenai.”

You stiffened at the mention of her name but before you could move to pull away, his cock slammed towards the back of your throat. It knocked your head against the wall and he shuffled closer, pinning you there. An indignant squawk rose up in your chest but it came out muffled around him, stopping your complaints before they were even fully formed. You twisted and writhed, hating how your cunt spasmed at the rough approach he was using to tame you into submission with. It shouldn’t have had you wet and ready for him and yet there was no denying that was exactly how your traitorous body was reacting.

“I told you you were going to listen, didn’t I?”

As if to emphasize his point, Asuma eased his hips back and slowly thrust into your mouth. You groaned, unable to stop the sound of pleasure even if you’d wanted to, and you lifted your eyes to look up at him imploringly. What, precisely, you were begging him for, you weren’t sure. 

It didn’t seem to matter either way though and the corner of his mouth hitched in smug amusement. “That’s better. You’re much cuter when you’re quiet, you know that?” Heaving a put upon sigh, he pretended not to see the way you unhappily glared at him while he brought his free hand up to take his cigarette and ash it off to the side away from you. Ever considerate even when he was arguably acting like a bastard. “Anyway, like I was saying. I didn’t dump you for her. The timing was off, I admit, and I can’t really blame you for taking it that way but I want to clear the air. I broke up with you because I just couldn’t see us having a future together.” 

You went ramrod stiff, effectively trapped between him and the wall again. Your heart felt like a plummeting lead weight hitting the pit of your gut and churning bile immediately started to claw its way up your esophagus. You were going to be sick. There was no escaping it and you tried to turn your head away, desperate to dislodge his cock from your mouth, but he was quick to reach down and curl his fingers under your chin to keep you in place.

“Steady, now. I’m not finished.” Asuma murmured lightly and tears blurred your vision at the soft note of affection in his voice. “It’s because we’re too much alike, kitten. That’s all. You throw yourself into battle just as wholeheartedly as I do and one of us is going to end up dead one day without that necessary survival instinct keeping us alive.” He said, sympathy and pity blending together until you weren’t sure which was which anymore. “But Kurenai is much more cautious and I don’t have to worry about her pulling some crazy stunt every time she goes off on a mission. She makes me want to be a little more careful too, for her sake. I know she’ll always be there but I’m never sure if you’re going to come back alive or not. Do you understand?” 

Reeling, you swayed uncertainly on your feet. Your chest hurt but it no longer felt like you were going to throw up and you were grateful for that. You weren’t so sure you’d ever recover from regurgitating your dinner all over the front of him, especially not after such a painfully heartfelt confession. It was undoubtedly a hard pill to swallow but, without being able to fly off the handle and react emotionally, you had no other option but to seriously consider what he’d said. It made sense. You hated it with every fiber of your being but it actually _did_ make sense. 

You’d harbored similar worries for some time now - about whether or not you were looking at him for the last time when you saw him off at the gate. Whether or not either of you would make it long enough to actually build a life with one another rather than merely existing in each other's proximity. It was like having your chest ripped open for a second time after the initial breakup and yet a strange sort of peace started to drift over you. Acceptance. 

The anger you’d been maliciously stoking petered out and died. It left you feeling cold and a bit empty, but you tilted your head back to offer him an affirmative nod. You did indeed understand what he was saying but you didn’t like it and you didn’t try to hide that from him. 

Asuma smiled, very softly. “I’m glad. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you,” He told you, so sincerely that you didn’t doubt him for one second. “But I was worried that you’d just run off and take even bigger risks if I came clean. We both know how petty you can be.” 

You snorted at the fondly playful uptick in his voice and when he reached for the hand clinging to his hip, you let him take it.

“Promise me you’ll try to be more careful, okay?” 

Rather than answering with another nod, you bobbed your head forward and gave his cock a gentle suck. You still loved him and you still wanted him, there was no denying either of those points. But you didn’t want there to be any hard feelings lingering between the two of you after this and when he grit his teeth in response, you knew that things were going to be okay. There was bad blood in the mix now but you’d always have a special place in each other's hearts and that was more important than anything else. 

“Do you want me to walk you the rest of the way home?” He rumbled. “For old times sake?” 

You could see the conflict raging in his eyes and you hesitated. Asuma wasn’t the sort of man to make such a decision lightly though. You knew he wouldn’t have suggested it if he wasn’t entirely sure and the realization that a part of him still wanted you in some way warmed you slightly. One last dizzying night spent wrapped up together might make accepting the loss of your relationship that much harder come morning but that was a risk you were willing to take. 

Even if only to prove that what you’d had together was truly real. 

*

The storm had come and gone. But evidence of its passing still lingered in the form of dark, tumultuous clouds overcasting the entire village in a way that almost reminded you of a death shroud. The moisture clinging to the air was sticky and uncomfortable, and you weren’t sure if it was actually a silent promise of more rain to come or if it was merely all the tears you’d shed refusing to evaporate. 

You could hear a child crying. His nephew. Konohamaru. Now he’d lost not just one but two members of his family and you wished you’d saved some tears to cry on his behalf. He deserved it more than you did. 

You glanced to the right of where you were standing in the funeral procession. Kurenai wasn’t crying but you could tell she’d exhausted herself, much like you had. There was nothing left for her to give in mourning and, for the first time, you felt true solidarity with the other woman. 

Asuma had left behind more heartache than he’d ever know. 


End file.
